Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
