So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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