I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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