If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
