Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
