Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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