Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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