I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize