these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
