I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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