i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
