Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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