were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize