good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
