I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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