so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
