remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
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We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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