Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was born a porn star she said
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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