I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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