farters have to be the big spoon...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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