When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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