We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize