White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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