I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
