I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
