There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
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I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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