"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize