Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
