I'd wear matching sweaters with you
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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