Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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