I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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