try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
