matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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