u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize