Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My penis needs a shock collar
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
