he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
