have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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