please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
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