Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed