I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately