I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.