I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?