I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No subtext here. People are naked.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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