he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
