its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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