i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
