We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
