It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
