dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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