he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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