she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
