So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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