why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well I just put wine in my tea
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
