drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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